I am so incredibly unhappy with our child’s special education and general education programs. I’m unhappy with their haphazard and not-specific data collection. I’m tired of their delayed responses to my questions. I’m tired of their defense of practices long abolished, and their unwillingness to see our child from a different angle. I’m sick of the know-more-than-thou attitude, and the “but you weren’t there to see it” statements — as if I do not know my child at all. I’m just sick of it.
I am frustrated. I think that I should let it go, for now, because it’s summer and we are home and I can do what I know needs to be done for him. But it’s hard to let go such shitty special education practices when I am a high-caliber special education teacher myself. It’s hard to let go of their general attitudes towards my family, as well as their lack of trust in my discussions of his challenges at home. It’s hard to let go of the clear way that they blame us for any challenges at home, and believe they are the amazing child whisperers who “get him” so much more. It’s hard.
I knew that this might happen. It’s not uncommon when parenting children with reactive attachment disorder. It’s not uncommon when parenting children with bipolar disorder. It’s especially not uncommon in the lower grades, where the social and academic expectations are not that high. But it still stings. It stings to have a shitty relationship with my child’s school. It stings that we are not really partners working towards his best future. It hurts because I loved school. I work in schools. I want to have a good relationship. And we have a crappy one. We have a crappy one that I cannot do anything to fix, because I refuse to accept shitty teaching and shitty data collection and shitty treatment of parents. And it sucks. There really is no better word than that: sucks.